"Abba, I am YOURS"

My mom and I went shopping yesterday. We met up with my grandma and cousin, Alison. They are all good people. I seriously love my extended family (on both sides that is). Anyways, we went shopping for a dress for me. I am going to my friend's wedding on Saturday and I am totally excited to be going out to PA. I got a cute little spring fun dress! I cannot wait to wear it! :D

I have many things that are uncertain in my life. Knowing that God, the same God of the Bible, the one that parted the red sea is in control of my life has brought so much comfort. The God that heals my life, the one that covers the scars in my heart with the scars on his hands brings me to a realization that is explainable. If anyone has ever heard the song "more beautiful you" by Johnny diaz. It almost perfectly describes my life. In one of the stanzas it says, "So turn around you're not too far// To back away be who you are // To change your path go another way // It's not too late you can be saved // If you feel depressed with past regrets //The shameful nights hope to forget // Can disappear they can all be washed away // By the one who's strong can right your wrongs // Can rid your fears dry all your tears // And change the way you look at this big world // He will take your dark distorted view // And with His light He will show you truth // And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl" 


God has washed away my shame and fears. He has changed my dark and distorted view of myself. He has brought such a freedom into my life this summer. A freedom that I couldn't have ever imagined having at the beginning of the summer. I am free. I feel like I could just dance that's how free I feel. Isaiah 55:8-9 talks about God's ways being higher than ours. The freedom I have found in these verses is the type of freedom that I have only heard about. Even when I got saved (at 6 or 7) I didn't understand this type of freedom. Which what 6 or 7 year old does, but even later in life, I didn't understand. Over the past years in college, I have experienced some serious bondage. I have wrapped myself in the bonds of hate and bitterness. But today, I am a changed woman. I can dance and sing and experience God's love for the broken. God has shown me such love and such a grace that brings tears to my eyes.  Even this summer, God has changed my life. I started this summer and had high expectations for everything. Each of these have been  torn down one by one, week after week. Slowly till I am left with my only expectation being God's ways are higher than mine. What I want and believe I need for my life, might not exactly be what I need. I am so glad that I don't have to worry about that for my life. 


I hope that all make sense. I really never know if it does or not. Yes, I read it back, but I know what i'm trying to say. I just hope it all makes sense. FREEDOM FOUND.