p90x. OH.MY.GOSH. This is day three of the program. it is one of the most difficult thing in the world. During the workout, I feel like I might die. Then I get done and it's like wow, well that wasn't too bad...then the day goes on...and by that I mean 5 mins later, i'm sore. We (my mom and I) started on Sunday and from that workout, I am still sore. Either way, we are going to keep going....ugh. it's going to be hard, but we will get it done. I am excited to get into shape more than I am today.
So today was the 2nd day since I have been home that it has been nice enough to lay out. Because of this wonderful fact, Katie, Christie, and myself all went to the beach. This sounds super nice and like there is going to be alot of sun and everything. However, the wind was whipping around so hard that the sand was hurling at us so hard that it hurt. NO fun! We decided to leave, epic fail of the first day of laying out! that's alright....there is always the rest of the summer! haha Anyways, I'm not sure where I was going with the blog after that.......
Um let's see here.....My dad has an aquarium and he loves that thing. He built it himself (pretty cool), and so he tries to get cool things for it and stuff. Anyways, he wanted to see things up close and decided to buy this mini microscopic for it. anyways, it came in the mail today and when my dad got home he opens it. first off the instructions are ALL in chinese (not a good sign), and then he looks at it. there are no words. when you put it a little ways away from something you want to see closer, it doesn't do anything. In fact, it makes it smaller and upside down. So finally after some time, we decide that it's dumb. But wait, after more time, we find that it works only if you hold it a certain distance from the object. With that being said, basically, it's good for nothing cuz he won't be able to see anything better in the aquarium. hahaha......good news, it was only 7 dollars. Moral of the story : you get what you pay for.
that's all for now! :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Blessed. :)
Call me crazy, but I am still up and it's 3am here.
I just got done watching a movie that is called "my girlfriend's boyfriend" -- not as weird as it sounds. it's a total chic flick. Anyways, i feel that i'm wayyyy more honest at this hour in the morning then i am about mid-day. it's true because at this hour, i let my guard down. i think we all do sometimes in our own ways. There are alot of things on my mind tonight.
First, I have the best parents ever. To me they are the best at least. I mean, it's cool if your parents are the best too...they prolly are for you, but mine are the best suited for me. God knew what he was doing when he gave them to me....or rather when i was blessed with them. God hand picked them out to have me. I was hand picked for them. i received the family i did because God decided who my parents would be, my siblings, and my extended family. Thank God that he did. I don't think i would have done as good of a job if it was up to me. Let's be honest, i don't always possess the best judgment in the world, mostly cuz i don't know everything.
Secondly, I have been blessed by great friends. I had a rough year this past year. I can't even sugar coat that. it was really hard. I had some of my worst and best moments this past year. i fought the Lord and did not win....and i think we all know that gets a bit painful. I have grown so much closer to the Lord because this year and what it has done to my heart. in the midst of all my pain and anguish (mostly self-inflicted) God provided (he didn't have to) a friend for me. Several of them actually. i have always ALWAYS wanted good girlfriends. He provided me with the BEST. he surrounded me with awesome girls that i could be myself around and not feel judged. I could be myself. Finally, i could let go of the Person that i was a long time ago and grow and stretch and fight with these people. There was a convo speaker once, and he talked about taking up the battle and having your friends next to you helping you hold the shields and what that meant. I didn't get it then, but slowly as i have looked back, i know exactly what that meant. That meant having people to pick you up even though you didn't deserve their kindness. It meant that they would call you out on things you should be called out for. It meant they were your support, you help in times of need, that those people would point you to the only person that had the answers, Jesus Christ himself. Those are the people that God gave me. Praise the Lord he did.
The last thing that is on my heart, is Jesus. I know it seems strange to write about him last, but i feel like it's perfect to end with. I have talked alot about God in my blogs that i have written. Like i said before, God has overwhelmed my heart with Grace and Mercy -- neither of which i have EVER deserved. God pulled me out of a pit that was sooo deep and sooo dark that i didn't even know i was in it anymore. I was walking around hitting my head on rocks that i could not see, and didn't understand why i had a concussion. God stopped me, he sat me down and he told me that i was wrong. Granted he used my mother to do so, once he got a hold of my heart, it melted. It was painful, don't get me wrong. As soon as i gave up my struggle that i had been fighting for 4 years, it was hard. i felt that God was slowly teaching me how to grow up. He has always called me to just sit at his feet and stop moving and know and understand that HE is GOD. I just didn't listen for 4 years. But once i did, God showed me alot of things in my life. He showed me how to forgive and forget (still working on that part!), he showed me how to love other people more, he showed me that it's not my will but his. I am no where near perfect, i just know that i don't wanna be the same person i was yesterday, today. I don't want to be the same person i am today that i will be tomorrow. I want to be changed and different. i want to effect change for His glory.
-- Isaiah 53:5 "....and with his stripes we are healed."
p.s. Sorry about any spelling errors or typos! i am not going to be rereading this before i post it!
I just got done watching a movie that is called "my girlfriend's boyfriend" -- not as weird as it sounds. it's a total chic flick. Anyways, i feel that i'm wayyyy more honest at this hour in the morning then i am about mid-day. it's true because at this hour, i let my guard down. i think we all do sometimes in our own ways. There are alot of things on my mind tonight.
First, I have the best parents ever. To me they are the best at least. I mean, it's cool if your parents are the best too...they prolly are for you, but mine are the best suited for me. God knew what he was doing when he gave them to me....or rather when i was blessed with them. God hand picked them out to have me. I was hand picked for them. i received the family i did because God decided who my parents would be, my siblings, and my extended family. Thank God that he did. I don't think i would have done as good of a job if it was up to me. Let's be honest, i don't always possess the best judgment in the world, mostly cuz i don't know everything.
Secondly, I have been blessed by great friends. I had a rough year this past year. I can't even sugar coat that. it was really hard. I had some of my worst and best moments this past year. i fought the Lord and did not win....and i think we all know that gets a bit painful. I have grown so much closer to the Lord because this year and what it has done to my heart. in the midst of all my pain and anguish (mostly self-inflicted) God provided (he didn't have to) a friend for me. Several of them actually. i have always ALWAYS wanted good girlfriends. He provided me with the BEST. he surrounded me with awesome girls that i could be myself around and not feel judged. I could be myself. Finally, i could let go of the Person that i was a long time ago and grow and stretch and fight with these people. There was a convo speaker once, and he talked about taking up the battle and having your friends next to you helping you hold the shields and what that meant. I didn't get it then, but slowly as i have looked back, i know exactly what that meant. That meant having people to pick you up even though you didn't deserve their kindness. It meant that they would call you out on things you should be called out for. It meant they were your support, you help in times of need, that those people would point you to the only person that had the answers, Jesus Christ himself. Those are the people that God gave me. Praise the Lord he did.
The last thing that is on my heart, is Jesus. I know it seems strange to write about him last, but i feel like it's perfect to end with. I have talked alot about God in my blogs that i have written. Like i said before, God has overwhelmed my heart with Grace and Mercy -- neither of which i have EVER deserved. God pulled me out of a pit that was sooo deep and sooo dark that i didn't even know i was in it anymore. I was walking around hitting my head on rocks that i could not see, and didn't understand why i had a concussion. God stopped me, he sat me down and he told me that i was wrong. Granted he used my mother to do so, once he got a hold of my heart, it melted. It was painful, don't get me wrong. As soon as i gave up my struggle that i had been fighting for 4 years, it was hard. i felt that God was slowly teaching me how to grow up. He has always called me to just sit at his feet and stop moving and know and understand that HE is GOD. I just didn't listen for 4 years. But once i did, God showed me alot of things in my life. He showed me how to forgive and forget (still working on that part!), he showed me how to love other people more, he showed me that it's not my will but his. I am no where near perfect, i just know that i don't wanna be the same person i was yesterday, today. I don't want to be the same person i am today that i will be tomorrow. I want to be changed and different. i want to effect change for His glory.
-- Isaiah 53:5 "....and with his stripes we are healed."
p.s. Sorry about any spelling errors or typos! i am not going to be rereading this before i post it!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Babysitting, Puppies, and Starbucks!
Today was a good day. I have to admit that when I got up at like 10, I was not sure that I was going to be in love with the day, but alas it was good.
In fact, I would say that I was kinda a crab this morning. I got up and came downstairs and watched some T.V. It's Saturday so my dad was home and him and my mom were watching HGTV. So I grabbed breakfast and had myself a seat. Sat down to enjoy my fiber bar (so good), and then my dad got restless and was talking about going into Chicago. But that would have just been him and my mom because I have to babysit at 6:30pm. So anyways, they decide that we aren't going to do that, but that we could go to downtown Chesterton...obviously wayyyy more exciting then Chicago (note my sarcasm). We have a little market thing every saturday that sets up and people sell different things.... Either way, I didn't feel like going, but alas, I went. Mostly cuz I thought I might be able to talk my dad into buying me a White Chocolate Mocha ;) I was not sure how I was going to get my dad to drive to Portage or Valpo (both about 20 mins away from where we were), but I was up for the challenge. so we park, and get out of the car, right?
Suddenly in the distance....there is a group of people hanging around a cage....with little animals.....we get closer....and closer, and then it becomes clear. They are PUPPIES. Cute precious little puppies. There were like 5 of them. Now, let me take a moment and inform everyone how much I want a puppy. I want one sooooo bad. Like I can't even handle it. I know what I want the puppy to look like....mostly the criteria is cute and that's about it...haha. Anyways, I hold the little thing, and he's just precious. I asked my dad to buy one for me, and of course the answer was no. He didn't wanna deal with a puppy for the next 6 months before I graduate! BUT as soon as I do.....you bet your bottom dollar that I'm getting a cute little puppy and I will name him Chops! :)
After I asked a few times for my dad to buy me the puppy and I soon realize that that is not going to happen. My parents wanted to go to Valpo (that's right....Starbucks is right there!!!) So I managed to settle for not getting a puppy if I could get Starbucks! ....My dad said that this was a fair trade! YUMMMM! So I guess no puppy for me now, but you just wait! It's coming!
Now, I'm off to go and babysit my night away. The kids are 4, 6,8, and 11. Should be an interesting night! I know the 11 year old already! I "babysat" her last summer so that's cool.....I think it will be a good night! anyways, i think that that is all for now!
In fact, I would say that I was kinda a crab this morning. I got up and came downstairs and watched some T.V. It's Saturday so my dad was home and him and my mom were watching HGTV. So I grabbed breakfast and had myself a seat. Sat down to enjoy my fiber bar (so good), and then my dad got restless and was talking about going into Chicago. But that would have just been him and my mom because I have to babysit at 6:30pm. So anyways, they decide that we aren't going to do that, but that we could go to downtown Chesterton...obviously wayyyy more exciting then Chicago (note my sarcasm). We have a little market thing every saturday that sets up and people sell different things.... Either way, I didn't feel like going, but alas, I went. Mostly cuz I thought I might be able to talk my dad into buying me a White Chocolate Mocha ;) I was not sure how I was going to get my dad to drive to Portage or Valpo (both about 20 mins away from where we were), but I was up for the challenge. so we park, and get out of the car, right?
Suddenly in the distance....there is a group of people hanging around a cage....with little animals.....we get closer....and closer, and then it becomes clear. They are PUPPIES. Cute precious little puppies. There were like 5 of them. Now, let me take a moment and inform everyone how much I want a puppy. I want one sooooo bad. Like I can't even handle it. I know what I want the puppy to look like....mostly the criteria is cute and that's about it...haha. Anyways, I hold the little thing, and he's just precious. I asked my dad to buy one for me, and of course the answer was no. He didn't wanna deal with a puppy for the next 6 months before I graduate! BUT as soon as I do.....you bet your bottom dollar that I'm getting a cute little puppy and I will name him Chops! :)
After I asked a few times for my dad to buy me the puppy and I soon realize that that is not going to happen. My parents wanted to go to Valpo (that's right....Starbucks is right there!!!) So I managed to settle for not getting a puppy if I could get Starbucks! ....My dad said that this was a fair trade! YUMMMM! So I guess no puppy for me now, but you just wait! It's coming!
Now, I'm off to go and babysit my night away. The kids are 4, 6,8, and 11. Should be an interesting night! I know the 11 year old already! I "babysat" her last summer so that's cool.....I think it will be a good night! anyways, i think that that is all for now!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Speechless
Hmmmm.....
Today, was an interesting day. I honestly, have been down and out the last couple of days. Well, that's not entirely true. Mostly last night and today. There are a few things that I am upset about.....I just can't name them here. It is for another time. Honestly, though......here's what I think.
Say what you need to say. Life is far TOOOOO short to not get to the point. I mean, I posted a few days ago about my Grandpa who is dying...and this past Sunday, an RD at Cornerstone University passed away. Why do we play games? why can't the world just be a little easier? I simply don't understand. Value the people that you are friends with. Treat them well. Not because of what they might give you in return, but because you want to be a good friend. Listen well and often. You never know the impact you might be having. I can't begin to tell you how much more of an impact it is to listen then to speak. (that statement is interesting because I am, afterall, a speech major- haha, but seriously, I am) If you have things to share share them with people. Everyone has a story. God has given us different experiences in order to share them with each other....times of mourning and times of laughing.
Today I was silent. Today, I went through most of the day just being quiet. Not saying or wanting to talk to anyone including my family. I just wanted to be alone. It's weird how you can be surrounded by a crowd and feel alone and the opposite can happen too. Like you can feel not alone at all and only be with 1 other person and not feel alone enough. Even as I read my Bible today, I didn't fee alone...Now, I know that God is always with me , and I'm never truly alone, but today was different. I surely didn't feel alone. Some days I do and I really like it. People think I'm an extrovert....haha...I can be, but I like to be alone sometimes. If I'm going to be real honest, sometimes, I can't handle people. Not to say I don't love EVERY one of my friends, but being alone can be good too. I have no idea if I'm making any sense.....it is late. I am very tired and my brain needs a break from everything.
Today, was an interesting day. I honestly, have been down and out the last couple of days. Well, that's not entirely true. Mostly last night and today. There are a few things that I am upset about.....I just can't name them here. It is for another time. Honestly, though......here's what I think.
Say what you need to say. Life is far TOOOOO short to not get to the point. I mean, I posted a few days ago about my Grandpa who is dying...and this past Sunday, an RD at Cornerstone University passed away. Why do we play games? why can't the world just be a little easier? I simply don't understand. Value the people that you are friends with. Treat them well. Not because of what they might give you in return, but because you want to be a good friend. Listen well and often. You never know the impact you might be having. I can't begin to tell you how much more of an impact it is to listen then to speak. (that statement is interesting because I am, afterall, a speech major- haha, but seriously, I am) If you have things to share share them with people. Everyone has a story. God has given us different experiences in order to share them with each other....times of mourning and times of laughing.
Today I was silent. Today, I went through most of the day just being quiet. Not saying or wanting to talk to anyone including my family. I just wanted to be alone. It's weird how you can be surrounded by a crowd and feel alone and the opposite can happen too. Like you can feel not alone at all and only be with 1 other person and not feel alone enough. Even as I read my Bible today, I didn't fee alone...Now, I know that God is always with me , and I'm never truly alone, but today was different. I surely didn't feel alone. Some days I do and I really like it. People think I'm an extrovert....haha...I can be, but I like to be alone sometimes. If I'm going to be real honest, sometimes, I can't handle people. Not to say I don't love EVERY one of my friends, but being alone can be good too. I have no idea if I'm making any sense.....it is late. I am very tired and my brain needs a break from everything.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My Toes are Cold.
What a great morning it was. My mom and I laughed so hard this morning. We decided to talk in different accents which were hilarious! So fun! We sat and watched MGTV for a while. It's the only show that is on in my house that we turn to for background noise and or when we watch T.V. as a family. I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me, that's for sure. After we laughed and watched some T.V., I decided to be productive today. I got Starbucks for like the 3rd day in a row! haha I might have an obsession. Either way, tomorrow I will not be getting a Starbucks --- i'm outta cash in my wallet -- no more Starbucks for me till I start my job! Also, random fact, my toes have been cold all day. Just saying...the most uncomfortable thing everrrrr! they literally felt like they were going to fall off earlier today cuz they were so cold. It's like that feeling that you get when an appendage is soo cold that if you bent it, it would snap from your body. yeah, my toes have been that cold. In fact, I'm sitting in front of a small space heater as i'm typing this trying to get my toes warm. Back to the job thing tho.....
Yes that's right, I have a job! I am fortunate enough that I am going to be working at my church this summer! They were so generous to me to help me out this year with a job. Praise the Lord. Answer to prayer that's for sure. I was praying last night about it, and I realized something. I realized that although I have things that I want, I don't ask for them. I just assume that God will give me the things that are good. It clearly says in Scripture, "For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." (Matthew 7:8)....But I had never asked before really about things that I have truly wanted. I asked for the first time last night about some things that had been on my heart for over a year now. I guess we will see. I know that God says things and He means them. I know that if it's for his glory, then what I asked for will come to pass. It was just a revelation I had last night.
Anyways, I am super grateful for the Job that I will be starting! I cannot wait. It should be a really good learning and growing experience for me. I think it will be good to work and do something different with my summer other than working at McDonalds or babysitting! Not that those are bad jobs, cuz they aren't, but ya know?
That is all.
Yes that's right, I have a job! I am fortunate enough that I am going to be working at my church this summer! They were so generous to me to help me out this year with a job. Praise the Lord. Answer to prayer that's for sure. I was praying last night about it, and I realized something. I realized that although I have things that I want, I don't ask for them. I just assume that God will give me the things that are good. It clearly says in Scripture, "For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." (Matthew 7:8)....But I had never asked before really about things that I have truly wanted. I asked for the first time last night about some things that had been on my heart for over a year now. I guess we will see. I know that God says things and He means them. I know that if it's for his glory, then what I asked for will come to pass. It was just a revelation I had last night.
Anyways, I am super grateful for the Job that I will be starting! I cannot wait. It should be a really good learning and growing experience for me. I think it will be good to work and do something different with my summer other than working at McDonalds or babysitting! Not that those are bad jobs, cuz they aren't, but ya know?
That is all.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
"The Journey Never ends..."
So today, I haven't done much of anything. Well that's not entirely true. I talked to my mom a lot this morning. It was good as it usually is. (I wish I had some funny story, but alas I do not)....anyways, got ready to go because like yesterday I had to go to walmart, although, today I was a bit smarter. I decided to go to a different walmart to avoid the construction issue. AND of course, if I am out, I'm going to get Starbucks...which I did. :) White Chocolate Mocha. SOOO good!
We are trying to sell our house and have a showing tomorrow, so I had to clean my room. It didn't take too long, but then I decided that this summer I'm going to go through and organize all my prayer journal entires. It did not take me too long at all to do this. Out of all the ones that I have in writing (which most of them are) I have them dated all the way back to 2001. Such a long time ago. They are really funny actually because they aren't really prayers. They are more me telling God what is going on in my life, like he needs me to tell him! haha I just think it's soo funny that I felt like God had no idea what was going on in my life. Several of the ones that I wrote, when I was younger, started with, "hey what's up? N.M.H" -- this makes me laugh just thinking about what God must have thought when he heard me as I wrote. Another one talked about this boy that liked me and friends that I fought with. People I had prayed for that I can't even put a face to the name anymore. Hahah
Then as I got to the journals that were the most current from my college years, I can see how things have changed so much. I saw my transfer from Cornerstone University to Liberty University. Kinda cool....God has taught me a lot over the past few years. It has been a journey that's for sure.
Other than doing these things, I have not been doing much with my life. I have been keeping in touch with good friends through facebook and skype. My best friend from IN, Katie, comes home today, and I get to see her tonight and meet her new boyfriend! :) I am sooooo exciteddd to see her! Andddd not only that but then later tonight i'm skyping with one of my friends from school, Erin! She is a great friend too! I cannot wait to see both of them tonight! i'm so exciteddd! I miss my best friend from school, Kara. yes, she has the same name as I do...I'm not referring to myself in third person!
I really need to start working. I am hoping to be working at my church this summer, but that is still up in the air. I am waiting to hear back from that, and I might be babysitting. If I could do both, that would be great! :) anyways, I think that that is all for now! :)
We are trying to sell our house and have a showing tomorrow, so I had to clean my room. It didn't take too long, but then I decided that this summer I'm going to go through and organize all my prayer journal entires. It did not take me too long at all to do this. Out of all the ones that I have in writing (which most of them are) I have them dated all the way back to 2001. Such a long time ago. They are really funny actually because they aren't really prayers. They are more me telling God what is going on in my life, like he needs me to tell him! haha I just think it's soo funny that I felt like God had no idea what was going on in my life. Several of the ones that I wrote, when I was younger, started with, "hey what's up? N.M.H" -- this makes me laugh just thinking about what God must have thought when he heard me as I wrote. Another one talked about this boy that liked me and friends that I fought with. People I had prayed for that I can't even put a face to the name anymore. Hahah
Then as I got to the journals that were the most current from my college years, I can see how things have changed so much. I saw my transfer from Cornerstone University to Liberty University. Kinda cool....God has taught me a lot over the past few years. It has been a journey that's for sure.
Other than doing these things, I have not been doing much with my life. I have been keeping in touch with good friends through facebook and skype. My best friend from IN, Katie, comes home today, and I get to see her tonight and meet her new boyfriend! :) I am sooooo exciteddd to see her! Andddd not only that but then later tonight i'm skyping with one of my friends from school, Erin! She is a great friend too! I cannot wait to see both of them tonight! i'm so exciteddd! I miss my best friend from school, Kara. yes, she has the same name as I do...I'm not referring to myself in third person!
I really need to start working. I am hoping to be working at my church this summer, but that is still up in the air. I am waiting to hear back from that, and I might be babysitting. If I could do both, that would be great! :) anyways, I think that that is all for now! :)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Construction and a GPS
Here I am again....
Today, I woke up and talked to my mom for a long time this morning...it was a good talk to say the least. Just about life and such, you know all the stuff that matters in the here and now. After I talked to her, I got some lunch, and decided I needed a Starbucks fix. So I told her that I was going to go and get some Starbucks, and I got ready to go.
I was getting ready to leave, and my mom asked if while I was out if I could grab some things at the store, and I agreed. It's the least I can do to help out around here. Anyways, I was out....got my ipod to listen to in the car, and my sunglasses, ready to go. I was driving on the the highway, and just singing to my music, loudly, and I found myself thinking about God only knows what, and at this point I came to some construction, and proceeded to take a different road. I got lost, needless to say, but it was sunny out so I didn't care. I finally arrived at Walmart, and discovered that I don't know where they keep Mac and Cheese cuz I never get anything like that from the store, but alas I found it....then i got back on the road to fix my Starbucks craving....White Chocolate Mocha in hand i was ready to head home....ran into more construction to find myself turning around again and again to get home, got behind a guy going 40 in a 50 and arrived home frustrated about how much time i just spent on the road. Then i came to the realization that I really enjoyed driving around. It's therapeutic to sing and drive and talk to Jesus.
God has my back I know....it's hard to see someone else go through something painful. My grandpa is dying from stomach cancer, and has been since October. They gave him 6 to 8 weeks to live. My dad is a strong man.....He texted me last night after visiting with his parents -- he went to visit them-- and it made me cry. It brought me to tears knowing that my dad although a strong man, is facing loosing his own father. I can't imagine what that is like. I hear that this is the age when grandparents start to go......it's hard. I find that I go in and out of being okay with everything, but then I think about Thanksgiving without him, and Christmas....and my heart races, it hurts almost....I saw the sadness in my families eyes at Christmas time when we got together. I know that when he passes that nothing will ever be the same. It's strange that death can have that effect on a family. That even though i'm not close to my Grandpa, I still feel it. Thinking about it, and writing about it right now....makes me sad.
This post is all over the place. I think i'm done talking about my day....needless to say, God is faithful in everything. God gives strength to families, he heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds. He gives and takes away, he can bring healing and he can allow death to happen. He knows what is best in order to save lives. My God is sovereign.
Today, I woke up and talked to my mom for a long time this morning...it was a good talk to say the least. Just about life and such, you know all the stuff that matters in the here and now. After I talked to her, I got some lunch, and decided I needed a Starbucks fix. So I told her that I was going to go and get some Starbucks, and I got ready to go.
I was getting ready to leave, and my mom asked if while I was out if I could grab some things at the store, and I agreed. It's the least I can do to help out around here. Anyways, I was out....got my ipod to listen to in the car, and my sunglasses, ready to go. I was driving on the the highway, and just singing to my music, loudly, and I found myself thinking about God only knows what, and at this point I came to some construction, and proceeded to take a different road. I got lost, needless to say, but it was sunny out so I didn't care. I finally arrived at Walmart, and discovered that I don't know where they keep Mac and Cheese cuz I never get anything like that from the store, but alas I found it....then i got back on the road to fix my Starbucks craving....White Chocolate Mocha in hand i was ready to head home....ran into more construction to find myself turning around again and again to get home, got behind a guy going 40 in a 50 and arrived home frustrated about how much time i just spent on the road. Then i came to the realization that I really enjoyed driving around. It's therapeutic to sing and drive and talk to Jesus.
God has my back I know....it's hard to see someone else go through something painful. My grandpa is dying from stomach cancer, and has been since October. They gave him 6 to 8 weeks to live. My dad is a strong man.....He texted me last night after visiting with his parents -- he went to visit them-- and it made me cry. It brought me to tears knowing that my dad although a strong man, is facing loosing his own father. I can't imagine what that is like. I hear that this is the age when grandparents start to go......it's hard. I find that I go in and out of being okay with everything, but then I think about Thanksgiving without him, and Christmas....and my heart races, it hurts almost....I saw the sadness in my families eyes at Christmas time when we got together. I know that when he passes that nothing will ever be the same. It's strange that death can have that effect on a family. That even though i'm not close to my Grandpa, I still feel it. Thinking about it, and writing about it right now....makes me sad.
This post is all over the place. I think i'm done talking about my day....needless to say, God is faithful in everything. God gives strength to families, he heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds. He gives and takes away, he can bring healing and he can allow death to happen. He knows what is best in order to save lives. My God is sovereign.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Fruit in the Summer.
So as I begin this post, I was eating some fruit. I love fruit. It is sooo delicious. It's good no matter what time of the year it is. I sometimes even get a craving for fruit.....like when i'm at school and have just ordered a pizza from Dominoes the night before and feel awful for eating 4 pieces of pizza because of a little friend that I have with me all the time named Acid Reflux.....I like to eat fruit...makes me feel better. Either way I love fruit. This is not really the point of the post.....I guess it is to just work through something that I have been thinking about.
I have been reading the book of Jeremiah, and as the girls on my hall will tell you I have been reading it all semester long. It's a long book and sometimes I don't read a chapter at a time. Anyways, I have read about how awful the Israelites were and how many sins they had been committing. To which, I always say, how could they?! Along with that I not only think that they were stupid, but then I think that they more than DESERVE the wrath that God is pouring out on them. He destroys whole nations...wipes out all kinds of people....You would think that this would be the point where I would ask how could a good and loving God do something like that....NOPE....not what I ask......how could God love us so much after so much disobedience to Him that he chooses to tell them and restore their nation.....How could God want to restore them? how could God want to be faithful to them in that way?
The same is true in my life....there has been times in my life that I have willingly walked into a mess and blamed God for it. There have been times that I have thought that God did not love me. This summer neither one of these things have been the issue, instead, it is a matter of understanding that God is faithful in giving me a job, friends, and a great family. it is about being content only in HIM. Understanding God's faithfulness as I become a college grad in like 6 months and not knowing where I'm going to go or how I will support myself....This is where my knowledge about God meets my heart. My heart has to believe that God will be faithful and do the things that he says he's going to do. This summer will be an adventure. I have NO clue where i'm going or what will happen or what the fall will bring......but I guess my tag line for the summer would have to be....."we will see...." because making plans, my plans...never work out the way that I want them to. I have decided that I will never put anything into concrete again, because my ways are not God's ways. He's got my back.
just some thoughts for the day..... :)
I have been reading the book of Jeremiah, and as the girls on my hall will tell you I have been reading it all semester long. It's a long book and sometimes I don't read a chapter at a time. Anyways, I have read about how awful the Israelites were and how many sins they had been committing. To which, I always say, how could they?! Along with that I not only think that they were stupid, but then I think that they more than DESERVE the wrath that God is pouring out on them. He destroys whole nations...wipes out all kinds of people....You would think that this would be the point where I would ask how could a good and loving God do something like that....NOPE....not what I ask......how could God love us so much after so much disobedience to Him that he chooses to tell them and restore their nation.....How could God want to restore them? how could God want to be faithful to them in that way?
The same is true in my life....there has been times in my life that I have willingly walked into a mess and blamed God for it. There have been times that I have thought that God did not love me. This summer neither one of these things have been the issue, instead, it is a matter of understanding that God is faithful in giving me a job, friends, and a great family. it is about being content only in HIM. Understanding God's faithfulness as I become a college grad in like 6 months and not knowing where I'm going to go or how I will support myself....This is where my knowledge about God meets my heart. My heart has to believe that God will be faithful and do the things that he says he's going to do. This summer will be an adventure. I have NO clue where i'm going or what will happen or what the fall will bring......but I guess my tag line for the summer would have to be....."we will see...." because making plans, my plans...never work out the way that I want them to. I have decided that I will never put anything into concrete again, because my ways are not God's ways. He's got my back.
just some thoughts for the day..... :)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
the beginning of something beautiful
So this is my first ever blog. I have never done this before, but I wanted to see what all the hype was about in doing a blog. I have followed a few before, but I never got that into actually doing one for myself. This might be a fail, but I guess we will see.
First thing is first I guess....what to actually "blog" about. I don't think that I have anything that important to say about my life or what i'm doing. Maybe I do....maybe not. I wish sometimes life was like a musical...we could all break out into a fun song and dance around the middle of a city and just have a good time. However, life is not like that at all. In fact, sometimes, it is the opposite. Anyways, I think I want to blog about my summer.
I guess i'm a little behind if i'm going to blog about the summer so i will get you up to speed.
MY first week of the summer was fantastic. I stayed on campus for graduation and only a few friends were there, which made for a good time. I loved the friends God has blessed me with. they rock! Some of my best memories made that week with some pretty awesome people. :) Needless to say though, I was SO ready to come home for the summer. It has put into shock a few things....graduation for starters should have been mine this time around....meaning i should have graduated, however this was not my case. Secondly, my brother and sister in law are living in my house with my parents and i before they move. a bit of a tight squeeze. Either way, it has been an adventure to say the least. I will have to talk more about it later. i feel like i could type on forever about it. there have been moments of frustration and some really good moments too. Laughing, crying, and missing every ONE of my friends. :( either way you cut it, i don't know where i'm headed this summer or what fall holds....i guess we are all in for a treat!
I trust the Lord to direct my path. :) <3
Kara
First thing is first I guess....what to actually "blog" about. I don't think that I have anything that important to say about my life or what i'm doing. Maybe I do....maybe not. I wish sometimes life was like a musical...we could all break out into a fun song and dance around the middle of a city and just have a good time. However, life is not like that at all. In fact, sometimes, it is the opposite. Anyways, I think I want to blog about my summer.
I guess i'm a little behind if i'm going to blog about the summer so i will get you up to speed.
MY first week of the summer was fantastic. I stayed on campus for graduation and only a few friends were there, which made for a good time. I loved the friends God has blessed me with. they rock! Some of my best memories made that week with some pretty awesome people. :) Needless to say though, I was SO ready to come home for the summer. It has put into shock a few things....graduation for starters should have been mine this time around....meaning i should have graduated, however this was not my case. Secondly, my brother and sister in law are living in my house with my parents and i before they move. a bit of a tight squeeze. Either way, it has been an adventure to say the least. I will have to talk more about it later. i feel like i could type on forever about it. there have been moments of frustration and some really good moments too. Laughing, crying, and missing every ONE of my friends. :( either way you cut it, i don't know where i'm headed this summer or what fall holds....i guess we are all in for a treat!
I trust the Lord to direct my path. :) <3
Kara
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