I am sleeepppyyyyy! man oh man! I have been up late and up early for the past 2 days now. not sure why i do this to myself, but anyways, leaves me sleepy. It's a good excuse to get some extra coffee during the day.
Yesterday I went shopping with my mom and sister! so much fun. we were supposed to go into Chicago, but we ended up not doing that and just going to the mall here in Merrillville (I never spell that right...hah). Point being we had a great time and I'm going to really REALLY going to miss Erika when she goes to be with Robby in PA. I didn't think that when I first met her that I would like her as much as I do. Let's be honest, whenever a sibling brings someone home you never think they are good enough for your brother/ sister. This is simply not the case with her. She is a wonderful friend and will be missed dearly when she leaves on Thursday.
I am trying to grow. Growing is really hard. I know that God is going to help me every step of the way this summer and has given me some really awesome friends to help in encouraging me to do so. I talked to a few of them last night. Listening to them talk is like a cool drink of water. One of them is just so encouraging. She is always there for me. She cheers me up when I am down and out. When I am feeling lonely, she makes me feel special. The thing about our friendship is that it's not about either of us over the other one. It's about caring about each other enough to know what the other person needs and listening when they really need help. I am so grateful for her. My other friend is a blessing too. She's a blessing in a different way. I didn't tell her how I was feeling yesterday, but her talking about what she has going on in her life just makes me feel like God has big plans for me too. Either way you cut it they are both really great friends. I love them dearly. They both mean so much to me.
Anyways, I drove to church this morning with Erika and back by myself. I listened to a song called "Forgive Me" by group one crew. I love this song, and I have for years. As the words played and as I sang along...it becomes very reflective for me. It makes me think of 4 years ago when I was getting ready to go off to College for the first time. In the song it says, "I pray away the pain you feel from all the things that went wrong"....there has been alot of things that have gone "wrong" or the things that I choose for myself since my freshman year of College. I am a different person now than I was then. It is a good thing. It just goes to show that things don't always turn out the way that you think that they will. I didn't think that 4 years ago I would still be in college right now. I didn't think that I would be going into my 5th year of school. I didn't think that i would be at a different college with different people and different friends. Like I have said before, most and by that I mean all of the time I don't know what is best for myself. I am glad God doesn't do what I ask of him, or that he is in charge and I am not. I go through days when my trust is in the Lord is more than other days. Today is one of those days that I trust God for a multitude of things in my life. One of those is restoration. God can do anything he wants. There are some things in my life that have never been restored. I am excited that after such a long period of time, HE, in his goodness and grace, chooses to restore all in his timing. :)
p.s. I am not sure if that all made sense, but I hope that it did.
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