Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata....
"it means no worries for the rest of your days. it's our problem free philosophy -- Hakuna Matata." Lion King what a classic movie. I love all the old Disney movies. I mean granted I have not watched all of them. I mean, most of them I have though. Lion King was not my favorite (Aladdin is totally where it's at), but Lion King is clearly a classic. What brings this phrase to mind, you might ask yourself....well let me tell you.

We live in a society that is consumed with things and the fast paced life, success and fame. Where you are going, who you know, who you are is defined by society and what they think of you. It is the pressure of it that causes most people to crack. Even in college, it's about deadlines. This paper is due on this date, a speech here and a test there. It gets to be alot. You have to keep up with all the demands of school and a social life. You go through life and miss the little things like the crisp air on your face on a fall morning, the smell of rain, the brilliance of the rainbow after the storm, the faithful friendships that will last a life time. We miss alot. One thing that I have been reminded of as of late is God's love, and the trust I can have in that love. I don't want to miss that, I don't want you to miss that.

I have already said how I'm reading Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning, and to be honest with you, as I flew home yesterday the book almost brought me to tears thinking about God's love for me. I have taken advantage of his love, ignored his caring outstretched arms, spit in his face with my ugly sin, AND yet, he stands with arms open wide. I don't deserve that. But that is the kind of love God is. Now, I don't want to discount the fact that not only is God love, but he is also just, righteous, and jealous. It has been difficult for me this summer and even as I am writing this I think about my day today, and I had a rough day. It was only rough because I am unsettled in where I am. And then I am convicted....how can I not trust in God's love in where he has me right now even in this moment?

I have fallen more in love with God this summer than ever before. I hesitate in even saying that as I wrote in my prayer journal that God became more and more real to me. I felt more in love with God than I have ever before. God has changed my life this summer. I am no longer angry about things that have happened in the past, I am not anxious about my future because I trust in God's love for me. That he will work out everything for my good and His glory.

I am just going to go ahead and be transparent for a few mins (not like i'm not already). But alot of young adults that are Christians worry about getting married. Christian colleges push the marriage issue and encourage young adults to date in college. Needless to say, my dating experience in college has not been a positive one. But I wanted to find someone. I did not want to be alone for the rest of my life. I have been in weddings and gone to weddings and they have always depressed me because I wanted that for myself. I guess "depressed" is not the right word, I was downright jealous of what they had and discontent with being single. Why there was such a rush on finding someone in my head, I will never know. I did not want to be the only one of my friends without someone. I felt lost without someone. If you know me at all you will know that my dating history would suggest that I don't like being single for very long before I find someone else to date. But I will tell you I have been single for officially a year and a half. It has been a long road. I joke around with friends about having a boyfriend or even poke fun at myself at how I can't get one, but I haven't ever felt like this before. I am HAPPY. I was at the wedding on Saturday, and yes there were cute guys there, but my focus was not to get a boyfriend, but just to have fun. I am excited about life as a single person. I am excited about where God will have me after college, and sure I am excited about getting married if that is what God has for me. But this is so different for me. I am not defined by man or my status of being single or dating or married. I am not defined by the job I have. I am not defined by the clothes I wear or the car I drive or any of that stuff. I am defined by God. I am defined by God's love for me. I am defined by THAT relationship alone. Jesus defines my worth not man. Praise the Lord for that. God has placed me where I am for a reason and with the friends I have for a reason and the lack of relationship for a reason. Jesus has become my first love this summer. He has captured my heart and set me free in his love. He has taken the shackles that I have worn for so many years and broken them once and for all. He has given me new life and a new optimism that I haven't ever known before. Hakuna Matata...I'm not worried because In God's love I trust.